It’s ok to not be ok. even in your relationship.
Have you ever, like, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed? Or something didn’t sit right with your spirit? And for the rest of the day you felt… off?
This is your reminder that It’s ok to not be ok. Even in your relationship. Because being a functioning human every day is hard enough.
Yesterday, I was in the bathroom doing my hair to prepare for a fun day out with my wife. We had plans to date that day and to go to her parents’ for a quick visit. All things I love to do. But I noticed that I was not feeling as jovial as I had just felt the day before.
I thought to myself, “that’s weird” and tried to shrug the feeling off. But I couldn’t.
I kept thinking and comparing my feelings from the day before to how I was feeling in that moment. And it just didn’t add up to me.
I went as far as deciding to pretend I was ok to make sure that the day’s activities were not thrown off because of me.
But that didn’t feel right either because between you and me, I am a terrible actor. Or my wife is the CIA so she was going to know something was up with me anyway. So, that’s when I decided I’d just tell her.
“Hey, babe. I feel like I just have an attitude today. I’m just not feeling it today.”
My wife said to me, “What can I do to support you? Do you need a hug?”
I definitely needed that hug and it helped, deeply. It did not change the situation or my feelings and I wasn’t expecting a cure. I am talking about COMMUNICATION… what I’m most thankful for during this situation. I am also so deeply happy to be in a marriage where we have created a safe space for us to communicate our needs, feelings and thoughts in this capacity. This situation reminds me of how people and our relationships, inevitably, go through ups and down. But this situation, I feel made us stronger for several reasons:
One reason is that I was reminded that no one is perfect, not even me. I know, I know.. CRAZY TO BELIEVE! We all have quirks and moments like this. And that this a beautiful part of relationships that can make them stronger. Being our authentic selves, flaws and all, is important. Your partner isn’t judging you or going to leave you because you’re not your best self on a particular day. Your partner is there to support you through the good times and the bad.
Real Love is Imperfect: Real love isn't a fairy tale. It's not about riding off into the sunset without a care in the world. Love is about connection, understanding, and growth. And growth often comes from navigating the rough patches together. So, if you're having a tough day or even a heated argument, don't worry – it's all part of the journey.
Your Relationship is a Safe Space: One of the beautiful things about a strong relationship is that it's a safe space. It's a place where you can be your authentic self
Conflict Can Strengthen Bonds: Believe it or not, healthy conflict can actually strengthen the bonds between you and your partner. When you can openly express your feelings, work through disagreements, and come out the other side with a deeper understanding of each other, it builds trust and resilience in your relationship. So, don't be afraid to tackle those tough conversations head-on.
Seek Support and Guidance: If you find that bad days are becoming a pattern or are taking a toll on your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek support or guidance. Couples therapy or Relationship Coaching can provide valuable tools and insights to help you navigate these challenges more effectively.