A key aspect in building connection is learning the inner workings of your partner – what do they think about? Aspirations? Personal goals? How do they feel about your relationship? As we go through our day to day lives filled with school, work, and other responsibilities, we tend to push these vital conversations to the side. 

If you are looking to build or rebuild connection with your partner, try taking some time to answer these questions together. It could be fun to use these questions as journal entries for yourself, then come together and read each other’s responses aloud. 

Early Life

How did your parents choose your name?

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

How did (Did you) you and your parents celebrate holidays? 

What was your favorite childhood toy?

What was your favorite show to watch growing up? 

What is your favorite book? Describe the feeling it gave you when you read it.

Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?

What is your favorite childhood memory?

What clubs or sports were you a part of in high school? 

How do you think your parents would describe you as a child?

Love & Sex

How long was your longest relationship? 

Why did you and your ex break up? 

What makes you fall in love with someone?

Do you regret any of your past sexual partners?

Describe one of your sexual fantasies.

Which color describes your intimate relationship?

What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think of your partner?

What do you like best about your relationship? 

How do you feel about marriage? Kids? 

What is your dream honeymoon destination?

What are three qualities you admire about your partner? 

If our relationship ended, what would you miss most about me?

What’s your favorite way to receive affection?

Future Life

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10?

Where do you see your relationship in 5 years? 10?

What is one thing you hope to achieve before you die?

How many children do you want? 

If you could retire right now, what would you do with your time?

What do you most look forward to about getting old?

What are your goals for this relationship?

Where is a place you’ve always wanted to travel?

Would you ever consider divorce?

What are your career goals?

What are your personal life goals?

Is there something about the future you think you want but you’re really not sure about?

What are your biggest fears when it comes to the future?

Fun

Has anything weird happened to you lately?

If you could have any superpower to have for 24 hours, what would it be?

If you won the lottery right now, who would be the first person (besides your partner) you would tell?

If you were an author, would you use your real name or a pseudonym?

What do you do when you have the house all to yourself?

How do people mispronounce your name?

What’s something your friends like to do that you hate?

What is the best piece of gossip you have ever heard?

Describe your dream house and location.

What is the worst gift you have ever received? Who gave it to you? 

What degree is the perfect temperature for your home? 

What are 5 things you cannot live without?

Describe the last dream you can remember.